Just Like You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiDOyQCCpKs&feature=relmfu

One thing that has always been on my mind is my father or lack there of and how it affects me.

No, my dad wasn't into drugs. He was always around. But never seemed to care what I did. He lived with us. He never came to my soccer games. He wasn't at my Science Fair. He wasn't at my spelling bees. He was never there for me. He wasn't at my Rec Nights and my school dances. He didn't know all my friends. Nor did he care about anything I had to tell him.

There are somethings I do remember though. I remember I always wanted him to brush my hair after a bath because he was super gentle. I remember we went to the park near my house one time and played basketball. He put me on his shoulders and made sure I could get a basket. I remember the sun was setting so everything had this golden tint. Its a still memory. A mind photograph if you will.

I can't complain. He was there and I did have one that didn't walk out. So, I can't say too much because I was definitely blessed to have him. But, it did make me crazy that he was not an influence on my life. It made me upset. I would get really angry. I was an angry child and an angry teen. I'm not blaming my anger issues on him. That was a creation all my own. I let things build up. I let things get to me. I let my frustration out on any kid who got in my way and I let popularity be an excuse or rather a cover. I let my popularity justify what I was doing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't try and make excuses. Take ownership. Don't blame your actions solely on other things. They may be contributing to it but certainly cannot take the full blame.